Avoidance ≠Holiness

 

I like writing. I like the precision of expressing my thoughts in carefully chosen words, how I can weigh words and choose the ones I mean the most in a given moment. Writing in the past has also been a kind of spiritual discipline for me, giving me pause to reflect, gather my thoughts and put form to how God has been speaking to me. But…I’m terrible at journalling, so the accountability of a weekly blog post is appealing.

So I admit it, there is something entirely self-indulgent about this discipline I hope to cultivate, because it is absolutely about my desire to be present to God in my life, to record how He is moving in and around me, and to enjoy and foster one of my only creative outlets.  So although I am convinced that being vulnerable with our process of becoming more like Christ is essential to Christian community, and although my hope is that we can create a little of that here in this Unravelling Space, there is an aspect in which I am writing for me. If anyone else reads it and finds something of value in it, well that’s just gravy.

On the other hand, putting pen to paper and publishing thought in word on the internet for all eternity is not a super easy way to avoid my shadow self and the old nature wrapped up in those graveclothes. So I really wrestled with starting a blog, for a long time, wondering if the struggle would be worth it. As I said in my last blog post:

I know my own tendency towards self-promotion, my desire to be seen in a good light, the thirst for influence and approval, as well as the sometimes crushing reactions to criticism and disapproval.

A good way to avoid both of those things is to avoid situations in which you risk experiencing them. If I don’t write, I won’t have to worry about feeding or starving my false identity which places my worth in the approval of others.

But as I prayed about it, God spoke to me about His grace. He reminded me that pretending the graveclothes aren’t there or covering them up with fanciness does not mean they disappear. He encouraged me that if I want to unravel these bits of death that still cling, I need deal with them and not just avoid them. Because I can seem holy when I avoid my triggers, but the truth is, avoidance does not equal holiness. If I want to truly deal with these things in my life, I need to stop avoiding and start stepping out and rehearsing the truth that my identity is found in Christ, and in God’s grace choosing His approval as more important. I need to practice stepping into His grace and wielding the armour He has given to defeat my foe and take back what the enemy has stolen.  He reminded me that I will fail, because despite my best efforts I am not perfect; I will mistakenly place my identity in the approval or disapproval of others, and He assured me that His grace is already there, waiting for me in those moments too.

I realize that when I say that avoidance does not equal holiness, some may hear me saying that an alcoholic needs to prove their holiness by hanging out in a bar without taking a drink, or that we ought to purposefully put ourselves in situations of temptation in order to prove that we have overcome a particular struggle in our lives. That is not what I’m trying saying. What I am saying is that, in my case, avoidance came from a fear of imperfection, which comes with its own sense of bondage. Breaking free from that requires stepping out past my own ability to obtain holiness and falling flat into God’s grace.

So here I go, exposing some of that perfectionism and that false identity that places my worth in the approval of others. I’m ready to get a little more untangled from these burdensome things.

The messiness of online platforms…

I look through my Facebook feed and it seems like everyone and their dog is starting a blog or a podcast or creating some kind of online platform. Have we all reached our 30s and finally feel like we have something share or fear that we haven’t impacted our world as we had hoped? Why would I add to the clamour?

Don’t get me wrong – I really appreciate much of the things that my friends are sharing. I’ve been inspired by the journeys they find themselves on and their willingness to share what they are learning on the way. Yet, on the other hand there seems to be quite a lot in the world of online platforms that just seems narcissistic and self-indulgent: I’ll write or talk about me and my opinions and you should enjoy reading me or listening to me talking about me so much that you like, follow and subscribe!

And If I’m being honest, I’m am aware of the parts of me that would lean towards narcissistic and self-indulgent.  And throwing myself into this world, makes me nervous about that. I know my own tendency towards self-promotion, my desire to be seen in a good light, the thirst for influence and approval, as well as the sometimes crushing reactions to criticism and disapproval. These are some of the graveclothes I’m working on unravelling from my life, but a few of those pieces are quite long and I’m fairly certain I’ll find I’m pretty tangled up in spots.

So how do I find myself here, despite all that, starting a blog?  Well… I’ll unravel that in future posts